After 20 years, Michigan has a new parenting time guideline, drafted by the State Court Administrator’s Office, Friend of the Court Bureau, and the Michigan Supreme Court. It’s important for attorneys and parents to know that these are not the law, and instead provide an outline of what suggested parenting time should be for children of various ages in different circumstances. They are user-friendly and written so that an attorney or client understands what to expect.
The ages looked
at are grouped in small increments so that the suggestions cover more than one
age group. It provides parenting time
outlines for birth to 12 months, 3 to 5 years, 5 to 10 years, 10 to 14 years,
and 14 to 18 years of age. One
consistent theme across all the age groups is a recommendation for overnight parenting
time if both parents have provided the child’s day-to-day care. If primarily one parent cared for the child, the
other should begin with limited parenting time that can increase gradually as
the relationship between parent and child grows.
I really
appreciate the fact that the guideline provides information about typical child
behavior in each age group, as well as suggestions as to how parents should
communicate about their child’s needs and potential concerns. By focusing on what is “normal” at a certain
age, it will alleviate concerns that behavior changes are strictly related to
the parents’ separation or that the child only acts a certain way when they are
with mom or dad. The truth is, many
children behave in this manner regardless of their family dynamic, and it
should not automatically lead a parent to believe something is “wrong” with parenting
time.
For younger children,
the guideline suggests more frequent and shorter contact. As the child gets older, parenting time increases
to longer periods, and at least two overnights every two weeks for children
ages 3 to 5. If the relationship between
parent and child is not yet fully formed, transitions to increased parenting
time are a good way to give everyone the necessary time to adjust.
Once the child
enters school, schedules will likely have to adjust to accommodate the school
day and transportation. Transitions should
be limited and splitting school break time should be taken into
consideration. As the children become
pre-teens and teens, they will likely want to spend more time with friends, and
both parents need to be cognizant of this fact and stay active in the children’s
activities and friendships. The older
age groups do not need as much frequent contact with each parent to maintain
the parent-child bond.
With COVID-19 and
the constant increase in technology, the guideline recognizes that video
chatting or virtual parenting time are real possibilities and should be utilized
in appropriate cases. It can improve the
parent-child bond and decrease the stress of time between visits.
Because every
case is unique (don’t believe that your case should turn out exactly like your
neighbor’s case did), the authors provided suggestions and explanations for
various types of family situations.
Domestic violence, long-distance relationships, reunification, and children
and parents with special needs are just a few of the considerations that are
discussed in the guideline.
Blank calendars
are provided, as well as examples of schedules that can be utilized for the
parents to come up with their own parenting time ideas. It contains a worksheet to write down specifics
about the situation and provides a brief overview of what a parent can do to
enforce parenting time through the court system, including the Friend of the
Court.
Overall, I think
the new guideline is going to be extremely helpful to litigants representing themselves,
attorneys, and the courts. The take-away
is that this is not a “one size fits all” guideline, and you should always
focus on what is best for your unique family.
